All I want to do is grow food. Raise animals for meat and for animal products, such as fat, which can be made into lard for cooking. Hides for making useful clothing items, such as rabbit furs into winter gloves. Eggs for eating and cooking with. I want to hunt for meat and forage for herbs and wild foods, which are medicine as well. I also want to grow my own herbs that will be made into medicines, which I am good at, and getting better. I want to cultivate my private land into a forest homestead that is capable of providing all my family’s needs as well as generations later. I want to cultivate wild fruit tree, bushes, and useful wild plants and herbs for food and medicine and I have been for 6 years now.
But I want to get better. All I want to do is build a log cabin. Using my bare hands, using no power tools. Even if it takes years to complete, I want my daughter and grand kids to be able to live in that home and be safe and comfortable. I want to meditate on the sounds of nature, the sights and smells of the forest and continue to find that inner peace that is so hard to come by in modern day society, everyday. I want to walk among the trees just for the hell of it, every day and know that this land I walk on provided my ancestors with food and medicine and today, it provides me and my family with the same. Everyday on the homestead is a day that I can do something that goes towards these ideas.
Everyday I miss at the homestead is a moment in time I can no longer get, so I use the day for what I can get from it, sometimes using the night for the same. I walk in my gardens and have recently began to garden barefoot because I have found that I am more connected to nature this way. I can feel the grasses, the dirt, I can feel the earth that provides me with life. I want to be closer to that. My garden is my solstice, my getaway from the world when it seems the world is closing in around me. This month is my 6th year off the grid. My 6th year living in a forest homestead, growing my own food, raising my own meats and products, growing, foraging and producing all my family’s medicine.
I stand under the canopy of the trees and I wait. I wait on messages from my spirit guides, is it time to move on? What should I do to prepare for the uncertainty that is closing around this god forsaken country? In the past, all my life, I have followed these messages and it has led me to where me and my family are now, safe in the Ozarks of southern MO. which, if you are in the know of the current pole shift and what is coming with planet Nibiru and the rest of the shift…the Ozarks are the safest zone in America. But I hear nothing. I am home, I am where I need to be, and yet there still seems to be an overwhelming feeling of unaccomplished preparation.
No matter how much I grow, how much I raise, how much I build, how much I do…it seems it is never enough. How can I ever get to where I feel safe and ready for anything. How can I grow enough, harvest enough, put up enough, store enough..how can I be at peace when so much around me is coming undone? Who ever said the homestead life was the simple life never was a homesteader. However, if you hear someone say, the homestead, self sufficient, sustainable way of life is hard and uncertain and never ending….then I will applaud that person because this life is all but with an ending.
I have started on a path that has no ending, and I don’t want it to end, I just want to get to where I am happy with my preparations for what may come, where i am happy with my level of self sufficiency. But then again, what would there be to do if it were all done? So I carry on…and pass it on because the future is uncertain and there is a little one that needs me to prepare a place for him where he can survive. Welcome to the world my new grandson, James Wolf Seeley.